live forever

there was panic in your eyes
i watched the cigarettes burn through
all my thoughts were paralyzed
the starlight a gloomy blue

there was an urgent quiet call
an ultimatum for my choice
i heard every single sound
distinguishing your perfect voice

& have you
ever
wished you would live forever?
yes, i have
i have
because in that
moment
we were both together
but now
you're gone, somehow

the lights turned from red to green
i raced home to just be late
spitting lies out through my teeth
my conscience gone in outer space

i know at night it's hard to try
paving roads that don't exist
but if you hear the tears i cry
you'll find exactly what you missed

& have you
ever
dreamed you would live forever
yes, i have
i have
but now i
realize
it was just so we'd be together
but now
you're gone, somehow

so take your life
and waste it somewhere else
and call it quits
cause i can't pretend
that we're still friends
when the past just paints
our bitter end
again

but have you
ever
wished you would live forever?
long before,
you came breaking down my door...

everthing in transit.

There's something about driving on a rare, warm, and sunny day
while listening to Everything In Transit.
It puts me back where I belong, where I'm supposed to be.
It reminds me who I am.
It's just comforting, defining.

It's perfect.

FURTHER

FROM THE EARTH.

4/21.

& i wait.

anxiety words. attack from the inside.

sit.
ache.
twist.
twist it out of me.
it's twisting internally.
bend.
try to mend.
mending doesn't lend
any helping hand
like fingers through the sand
i'm helpless and i'm changing
facets come to life
turning over
from a coma
repressed in my own mind
stand.
ache.
twist.
twist it out of me.
it's twisting internally.
thump thump thump
the race is getting heavy
my forehead's cold and sweaty
thump thump thump
i curl into a ball
secure, at least i feel
something at all
lodged inside my throat
thump thump thump choke
blood rushing through my veins
cars rush along the lanes
and then they crash
ache.
twist and turn and crash.
thump. thump.
thump.
shaky hands.
glassy eyes.
you're back again what a
fucking surprise.

this is what i enjoy

done with cheap paint & paintbrushes with angry bristles










some people want to roam
some people, they roam this world alone